Messy and Life Changing

It happens frequently, and when it does you feel the change. Sometimes it's a subtle shift that seems to happen without much effort, and other times there's a lot of emotion and energy that goes into it.

However one experiences it, the outcome is worth it. A coming into a state of congruency that aligns one's energy and sends a completely different signal out to the world. While coaching clients with horses I get to witness the amazing power of this transformation. Kristy recently experienced this. Here's her story:

PrincessKristy and I walked into the arena. The horses where on the opposite end grazing on their favorite summer treats, mesquite pods that had fallen from the trees. They notice us enter, and aside from a quick glance our direction, didn't pay us any attention.

Kristy had chosen Princess to work with and began to make her way towards her. Princess's ears pointed forward as she approached, but other than that Princess showed no signs of engagement. Kristy walked up to Princess's shoulder and began talking to her and softly petting her. Princess acknowledged by leaning in a bit, but kept her nose to the ground, slowly walking around nibbling on the fallen pods. Kristy kept pace with her for a few minutes, and then turned to ask if there was something else she should be doing.

We talked through the discomfort she was feeling. She felt tolerated by Princess, but not really engaged. Kristy and I pursued conversation and coaching around this, and within a few minutes some deep buried emotions and memories bubbled to the surface. Tears began to trickle down her cheek and then anger powered it's way to the surface.

While working through this, Kristy lost focus of the horses around her. The emotion, tension, and anger intensified within Kristy until they reached a pinnacle of release. A release that was was loud, messy, and beautiful.

As soon as the eruption was over, the change was tangible. You could feel in the air. It was a very powerful feeling. As the results of what had just occurred sunk in, Princess calmly walked up behind Kristy and rested her head against her back. After a few moments, Kristy turned to face Princess, and Princess moved her head gently into Kristy's chest. It was a powerful moment to witness. For the first time since entering the arena Kristy felt fully accepted and seen as an equal by Princess.

They stood together motionless for minutes, and almost instantaneously I watched them each come to a point of completion and voluntarily step back from each other. Princess quietly went back to grazing on mesquite pods. Nearby, Butler and Max lifted their heads and stared intently at Kristy, and after a few moments returned to grazing as well. Kristy turned and walked towards me, her head high, an aura of confidence and empowerment about her, and a life-changing moment tucked away in her heart that would last forever.

What had happened? At it's simplest, Kristy's inside and outside worlds had come into alignment. The effect of being in this congruent state immediately was felt in the space around her, prompting the horses to immediately respond in a much different manner than they had in the past 45-minutes.

And it wasn't just the horses that noticed the change, I felt it from a short distance away.

Kristy's time with Princess didn't fix everything she's stuffed inside, or make it magically disappear. That work was still to be done. What happened was more powerful than that. Kristy's energy and power came into full alignment, inside and out. Why is that important?

When you put on a happy or confident outward appearance, while something else is going on inside, you send mixed messages to the world. It's like tuning into two radio stations at once. The harmonies do not blend, there may be some static that comes through, it leaves you a little edgy and it's not long before you can't help but adjust the radio to just one station. Instantly the noise, static, and confusion go away and you feel much better.

What happens when you are in an incongruent state?

  • You spend a tiring amount of energy trying to ignore, push down, and evade whatever it is going on inside.

  • You send mixed messages to the world around you. It's like driving with one foot on the gas pedal, one on the brake, all while the emergency brake is on.

  • You're indecisive, can be easily irritated, seem to jump quickly from one thing to another, and are never really sure what you want.

  • You attract a whole bunch of weird things into your life, and usually very little of what you really desire.

  • Oh, and it's worth repeating, it's tiring. In fact it's often exhausting!

What happens when you are congruent and aligned?

  • The world sees you clearly, and therefore supportively responds.

  • You know the direction you want to go, and you do so with purpose.

  • You attract the kind of people and opportunities into your life that fill you, inspire you, and support you.

  • You feel energized, hopeful, happy, and confident.

  • Things that you once thought were impossible, become possible.

  • Life changes – for the better!

How do you begin to bring yourself into a congruent and aligned state?

  • First, realize that in order to do so you do not need to “fix” anything. A definition of alignment is recognizing all the parts and how they affect each other. It's as simple as that.

  • Next, recognize what's going on inside. You can speak to it, see it in your mind's eye, or anything that acknowledge's it.

  • And lastly, allow it to be part of you. Resist any urge to stuff it back in.

When you've arrived at this point it's important to work through whatever it is you've come into alignment with. You can do it on your own, or seek the guidance of a trusted advisor, mentor, coach, or therapist. Now is the optimal time to do something positive with what you've discovered, and create a new cycle. A cycle in which you stand in your power and create your best life!



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2 Responses to “Messy and Life Changing”

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  1. Jane R says:

    Great story! I remember such a powerful moment myself of clarity and passion and purpose in that very arena, thanks to you and those four-legged counselors! Looking forward to your workshops to go the next step! Jane

    • Diana Gogan says:

      I remember that day as clearly as if it just happened Jane! And it’s exciting to continue your journey with you, to see that speech you gave to the horses that day come full circle in your life recently.  I LOVE it when powerful, heart-centered women find their authentic voice!

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