Finding Empowerment In The Darkness

Five years ago this week I was experiencing one of the biggest transitions in my life. It was one of those transitions that catches you by surprise and turns your world inside out. A transition no one was sure I’d come back from. A case of food poisoning during our Thanksgiving vacation left my husband and I stuck in our hotel room for a few days. We thought it was just the flu. My husband came down with severe symptoms first and was beginning to recover within a few days, just as I started experiencing symptoms. Ready to be sick and miserable in our own bed, we cut our vacation short and headed for home – a two day drive. By the time we reached home I was very sick.  My husband had to “trick” me into getting into the car to go to the doctor because I was so stubborn, and soon found us pulling up in front of the hospital ER entrance. Convinced it was still just the flue I protested until we reached the ER check-in and rather than sitting in the waiting room for hours was immediately whisked into a room. That got my attention. Only very seriously sick people went to the head of the line. There was a whirlwind of doctors, nurses, needles, tests, and x-rays as the pain in my back around my kidneys grew to an intensity I couldn’t bear any longer. Just as the morphine was administered I knew, deep within my soul, that I was at a possible exit point. At this exact moment I had the choice to live or die. No bright lights, tunnels, or angels. Just a strong knowing that whatever choice I made would be final. I turned to look at my husband and knew I was staying. Then the world grew quiet as a slipped into the darkness of a drug induced sleep. Four days in ICU, a fifth day in a regular room for observation, and I walked out of the hospital to the amazement of the doctors and nurses in the ER. The doctor on duty the day I was admitted confessed that no one gave me very good odds of making it. Of the two cases similar to mine he’d seen over the years, neither had survived. Life was different from that point forward. Dependent on daily medication to maintain balance in my body changed a lot of my routines and habits. There were ups and downs as I came to grips with what had happened and who I was now. Yet, there was also a surreal calmness and knowing that all would be taken care of and this health transition was a transition that would influence my life for the better. Although I have to admit there were days I thought this feeling was just a bunch of crap. Looking back I now see how far I’ve come since the day I decided to stay. How a life transition like this can nudge you onto a path bringing you back to yourself more centered and focused, and can re-connect you with your truth and passion. Or how it can lead you down a path of worry and confusion; feeling betrayed and disconnected from life. Why do I share this with you? Because Fire Horse Ranch is a result of this and other life transitions that have challenged and molded me into who I am now. A place where women and animals come to find support and guidance through life transitions, whether big or small. A sanctuary from the world where you can tune into your heart and soul for healing, empowerment, and strength. Where you can connect with the balancing energy of nature and horses, unconditionally supporting you towards your highest and best self. It’s a safe haven where you’re both supported and you can support another to heal and move forward in your truth and strength. Whether you’re in the beginning, middle, or ending of a transition take a few moments and find the nugget of inspiration and empowerment within the transition. Connect with this and allow it to inspire forward momentum where you’ll learn, grow and come to embrace life more fully.  You might be pleasantly surprised where it takes you!

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One Response to “Finding Empowerment In The Darkness”

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  1. wow, what a powerful story-I’m so glad you decided to stay to do your amazing work that helps empower so many women.
    You are a blessing!

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